Today would have been your birthday here on Earth with us. Instead you are up in Heaven and from the mouth of Brogan "This is the best birthday that he has had!" While I know that is true nothing can replace what we have lost.
While I don't shed a lot of tears, my heart aches and my throat hurts by trying to keep it all inside. It's the little moments, the words and actions of my kids. The times that someone does something just plain stupid and I think "space cadet" or I realize Jeremy or I have told the kids no about something or not let them do something that you would in a loving manner consider "bad parenting".
I relish in the times I hear Brogan telling Christian and Rylen stories about you or showing them your video and telling them "That's your Poppy" I realize in those times that she is so much stronger than I am and her faith is so much deeper. She has not been tarnished yet.
I think of the time just last week that Christian was so excited to get his new movies that mom gave him. He is so proud of them and hugs them while he is laying on the floor watching the movie. Why? #1-They are Westerns, #2-They are John Wayne, #3-They were Poppy's!!
I get a smile on my face and I get sad when a song comes on the radio and even little Rylen knows and says excitedly "That's Poppy's song!".
Words can't express the sadness or the happiness that is felt to know you are not here but there. Selfeshly, I would rather have you here but, I am grateful to know one day I will be with you there.
Happy Birthday, Daddy! We love you and miss you so very much!
P.S. We went to eat at Berry Hill's tonight. I had the fish tacos and we all had a Margarita for you. The Maragritas weren't as good Pancho's Backyard and the tacos weren't .99 cents but they were good!
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